Captain & Colonel
Lord Herbert Fitzwilliam
Eldest surviving son of General the Lord Herbert Fitzwilliam, Earl of Poodle-Fayking in the County of Hertfordshire and Lady Clamydia Fitzwilliam (nee Snaatch-Ferrberger)
Eton and Jesus College Cambridge (sent down in final year for running an unlicensed brothel in the cricket pavilion)
i. Purchsed commission in Hys Majesty’s First Regiment of Foote Guards. Rank of captain, February 1743.
ii. Present at the Battle of Dettingen, 27th June 1743. Wounded in big-toe when wagon wheel accidentally rolled over foot
iii. Present at the Battle of Fontenoy, 11th May 1745. eceived bayonet wound to right buttock during tactical withdrawal.
iv. Present at the battle of Prestonpans, 21st September 1745. Wounded in right hand due to nasty bite from Jacobite Highlander (female) – treated for septaecemia through frequent leechings.
v. Present at the Battle of Culloden, 16th April 1746. Guest at the Duke of Cumberland’s birthday party with Lord William. Over-indulged and awoke in back of supply wagon in time to observe rout of Jacobite Army. Borrowed horse and fell-off as it kicked out at a fellow officer (identity unknown) who was passing by at the time.
vi. Present at the Battle of Rocoux and met with Lord William – both served as official observers. Rendered incapacitated through extreme flatus and flatulence due to drinking contaminated local wines, spirits and ales.
vii. Present at the battle of Laffeldt (nr Maastrict), 2nd July 1747. Gained displeasure of the Duke through excessive wagering/gambling and causing injury to fellow officer (something about a forward somersault over a file of grenadiers who had their bayonets fixed?)
viii. Present at the Battle of Col De L’Assiette (accidental) 19th July 1747. Whilst visiting Lord William who was recuperating from wounds received at Laffeldt. Temporary attachment to French Army by mistake – escaped by hiding in nettle patch and then wagering with Lord William that they , “stung not a jot dear chap…b’ha’haaaaaa!”
ix. ADC/Equerry to Hys Majesty King George 11. Horse Guards and St James’s Palace. October 1747 to present.
Hell-Fire (Life Membership)
“Bounders and Spankers” of Piccadilly
Volunteer ‘layer-on’ of aristocratic hands to the “Virginal Daughters of Portugee Houries” Finishing School and Academy – Bath.
Hon President “The Society for the Improvement and Imbibing of Fine Sherry “
Bear-baiting, dog-fighting, cock-fighting, hunting to hounds and other animal loving/conservation country sports
The artistic works of Mr Hogarth
Cards, dice, coinage-in-cleavage, tip-cat (?)
When in towne: Rake’s House, Soho Village, London (shared with his goodly friend, Lord William Fitzherbert)
When in the country: ‘Shattmeself Castle’ , Glen Drool, Perthshire
When on the continent: Ubermensch Schloss, Obermeintackle, Hurtmeinartz District, Bavaria
Although not a member of the Sea Thieves Pirate Association, and historically out of period, he is a highly valued associate of the group at fun events such as Hartlepool.